would it kill you to breathe?

Thick as Thieves -- Dashboard Confessional

Would it kill you to breathe?
Easy only 17 miles lay between you and me
I could make it if I had to
I don't break easily
You've got my counsel, thick as thieves
If there's a crime we'll keep it secret
For there's only trace amounts left in your blood
You may be a sinner
But you may be justified

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Will it kill me to breathe
Not as easy as you think it is between you and me
I could fake it if I have to
I don't break easily
I need your counsel, thick as thieves
I have no crime to keep a secret
It was hers, it was not mine
Well I may be a sinner
But it wasn't me this time

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Listen to yourself
There is a hemorrhage in your mouth
It won't stop bleeding
Well you may be the traitor
I will hold the smoking gun
You'll get away clean
I'll keep your secrets til the grave has swallowed me
And I will never tell a tortured soul they are burning by my side
That I am a sinner
I am a savior
I am a lie

So keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

I finally got down to doing the reflective post that I'd said I'd do.

Well. After the last post that I'd done, I'd been thinking. This thought processes were further accentuated by the briefing by the RJ vice-principal today.

I don't know if I should be saying this, but in my years in RI, I have never clearly thought about something like this. What am I going to become once I proceed on to RJ, and then on to university? It has come to a point where I have realised that everything I had taken for granted before is now no longer going to stay there, and wait for me. I have just about found that I have never set a path for myself in life, because I have never seen the need to. Not until now.

It might not mean much to you, the reader of my blog, because you might be scoring distinctions in every subject, or getting a GPA of 3.6, but I guess it's also my own fault. I'm not going to blame the government for setting this path which we all know is laid out so carefully its almost impossible not to follow it, but rather, I'd much rather blame myself.

I have been attached to my computer for too long. I don't think I will be able to change this fact. But I think life is calling, beckoning me even, to get on. I do not have a path mentally, I don't have a future in my mind, something that I am going to strive towards. Maybe that is the reason. Maybe not. I guess it's easy for me to say this. But I think it's time I went out there, made some friends, done some work, and got better grades.

I just need to find a source of motivation. Maybe it's gonna come from you, maybe.

Sometimes, I have found that I don't have anyone to talk to, when I'm feeling lost, when I'm feeling sad, I just lack that special someone to talk to. I don't know. It seems like friendships don't last. It has been a while since I actually conversed with Royce, but well, people do move on. I think its time for me to stop taking things, people and work for granted. It's time to pave my own path, to lay down the bricks and cement, and then move onward in life.