would it kill you to breathe?

Thick as Thieves -- Dashboard Confessional

Would it kill you to breathe?
Easy only 17 miles lay between you and me
I could make it if I had to
I don't break easily
You've got my counsel, thick as thieves
If there's a crime we'll keep it secret
For there's only trace amounts left in your blood
You may be a sinner
But you may be justified

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Will it kill me to breathe
Not as easy as you think it is between you and me
I could fake it if I have to
I don't break easily
I need your counsel, thick as thieves
I have no crime to keep a secret
It was hers, it was not mine
Well I may be a sinner
But it wasn't me this time

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Listen to yourself
There is a hemorrhage in your mouth
It won't stop bleeding
Well you may be the traitor
I will hold the smoking gun
You'll get away clean
I'll keep your secrets til the grave has swallowed me
And I will never tell a tortured soul they are burning by my side
That I am a sinner
I am a savior
I am a lie

So keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

I hate being emo.

I realised a few moments back how selfish I am. Just because I am not accepted into society doesn't mean I have to turn my back on it. My troubles aren't the worst. Sometimes I realise that it's not what you do normally but what you do at the crucial moments that dictate what kind of person you are.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me. I'll meet you when my chores are through, I don't know how long I'll be. But I'm not going to let you down...

This makes sense. I'm not going to let anyone down, anyone who has expectations of me. I'm not saying I'm Mr. nice guy, but I'm not going to let whatever I've previously built go down the drain just like that. It's just not me. I'm not going to look back one day and think, "What the hell was I doing?"

He lies in his bed, eyes unfocused. His mind is running, thoughts bounce from place to place. But he is simply unable to concentrate of any of them. The moment he closes his eyes her face floats up, a ghostly image imprinted upon his eyelids. He continues staring at the ceiling, heart weeping.

And so he lies, until the day breaks. He sits up, hardly showing any sign of the exhaustion and insomnia. To him now, life is meaningless. Life without her, that is. He remembers her smile. He remembers the first time he saw it, and the instantaneous rush of joy to his heart. "If only she would smile at me that way."