A wave of self realisation hit me last night as I was lying down in my bed, waiting for the moment I would fall into blissful sleep.

Someone had told me earlier that I needed to think of others while in their shoes, the same way Atticus Finch said this.
'You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.'
I realised that I've not been giving others space, similar to the analogy that Jeremy raised during the Adventure Camp - Porcupines cannot go too close to each other in the winter to share warmth because they will end up hurting each other with their quills. In the same way, I've not been giving the people around me the space that they need to live their own lives with. I'm sorry.

Again, I look at my own life, I read back on my ideals of a true friend, and I realise that I don't even live up to that standard, and yet I'm hypocritical by expecting my friends to be of that standard. I don't know if I should be utterly disappointed with myself. I've come this far, without revising my theory of a true friend - someone who understands me, someone who will be there if I am in need, someone whom I can confide in, someone whom I basically would do everything in my power to help if there is the need. I serverely fall short of my own ideal, I don't think about things from others' point of view, and at the same time I seem so caught up in my own self pity that now when I look back, I'm nothing other than a spoilt brat. It's sad, for me, to realise that I'm such a hyprocritical person, even though I've spoke out so strongly against hypocrisy. What's the point in expecting so much out of everyone, and yet you can't reciprocate? It is morally disgusting to me. I've lived in a pit of self pity, not once looking out and reaching out to the people around me. And yet I expect their care.

Whats the point in wallowing in self-pity if you can't get anything done? I think this fact has hit me hard. I'm prepared to face all my problems now, I don't believe that I can't get rid of these faults. I'm willing to let go of my current reins, and get a new lease on life. But the thing is, will you help me?

Thank you, Josh, for letting me realise the error of my ways.
Merv.