So, I've set aside a buffer of two weeks. No contact. I'll adhere to it, no matter what I do. I'm in need of this time to sort out the rest of my life. I can't keep thinking about it. Emotional wounds are best left there to heal slowly.

On the other hand, I've realised that recently the songs I like to listen to have something to do with being yourself. What with linkin park's numb, gavin degraw's i don't want to be, 3 doors down's when i'm gone. I kind of like it. Its good to be one's true self. Why bother thinking of what people want you to be? I quoth, "tired ofbeing what you want me to be". It's something that is natural in all of us, I'd expect.

I don't know why I'm so affected by everything. I want everyone around to me to be happy, and yet I seem to love wallowing in my own despair. For the first time in a long long time, I've cried. Sometimes, emotional wounds aren't all that easy to deal with. Why do we bother going after the one girl whom we think would make that difference to our lives? Why do we try so hard, and yet fall so far? Why are we so affected by the one person whom we did not know a year ago and now can mean everything to us? Why is it that the smallest slightest thing that they do, can be noticed by us, and at the same time affect us so much? Why do we even cry for them?

How is it fair that girls are able to understand both sexes, and yet males are just mystified by the fairer sex. Why does gender discrimination take place in the first place? How is it that society advocates the improvement of the position of females in society, and yet it forms laws protecting women?

Sometimes I find society so hard to believe.

Merv.