would it kill you to breathe?

Thick as Thieves -- Dashboard Confessional

Would it kill you to breathe?
Easy only 17 miles lay between you and me
I could make it if I had to
I don't break easily
You've got my counsel, thick as thieves
If there's a crime we'll keep it secret
For there's only trace amounts left in your blood
You may be a sinner
But you may be justified

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Will it kill me to breathe
Not as easy as you think it is between you and me
I could fake it if I have to
I don't break easily
I need your counsel, thick as thieves
I have no crime to keep a secret
It was hers, it was not mine
Well I may be a sinner
But it wasn't me this time

Just keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Listen to yourself
There is a hemorrhage in your mouth
It won't stop bleeding
Well you may be the traitor
I will hold the smoking gun
You'll get away clean
I'll keep your secrets til the grave has swallowed me
And I will never tell a tortured soul they are burning by my side
That I am a sinner
I am a savior
I am a lie

So keep your mouth shut
Keep your guard up
I swear I'll make it right

Today I spoke with the school's counsellor. It lasted for an hour and 30 minutes. In that time, i came clean with myself, what wrong I had done, what difficulties I faced, whatever I thought was wrong with myself and my life.

It's amazing. I have never been able to come this clean with myself. I thought shrinks were just bullshit people paid to listen to you. But the feeling is really good, when everything justs comes out of your mouth.

But then again, have I, as I said at one part of the conversation, that I had accepted my current condition, with no motivation to work harder and move further? Have I come to the point where I'm just going to sit there, do the work thats given to me without putting in effort. I mean, is this just gonna be a waste of my time? I'm young, I'm fresh. I have never done well in RI, but I must admit that my laziness has killed all my chances. Is it time for a makeover? Or have I really accepted the fact that I'm just a fat lazy bum as some people choose to call me?

We shall see. Have I?