I wish I could lie and pretend that what I said last night isn't gnawing at my insides now. I can't.

Some people say that lying on your bed in the dark of the night is one of the best places to think and reflect. I have to agree.

As usual, I shot my mouth off, said the rude, insensitive and idiotic thing. And the sad part? I tried to pretend that I didn't care that you were hurt. I tried to block out the part of me that cried in desperation, the other part of me that was exploding with sadistic delight. Really, I don't know where everything that I want to do is going.

I admit that I usually don't think before I speak. Like, who gives a shit about the consequences? But the consequences always come back to hurt me.

I don't deny it, I am insensitive. For that I apologise.

So, Alicia, if you're reading this, I just ask of you to acknowledge receipt of this apology.